Letters to BadGal

{disclaimer: kindly refer back to past letters to rihanna to gain a better perspective on this letter and undoubtedly future ones to follow}

Dear @BadGalRiri,

It has come to my attention that your recent concerts are living up to the first word in your instagram handle. We all already knew you were Lion King status of the party animal jungle, but you were always so good at carrying out your bAd B!<tCh duties the following day regardless of the inevitable hangover. But now you're showing up hours late to concerts????? AND LIP SYNCHING??????? Fans say you were still drunk and seemingly "on valium" whilst performing?????????????????? IS THIS THE SAME GIRL WHO GAVE THE LIFE CHANGING PERFORMANCE AT THE VICTORIA SECRET FASHION SHOW FALL 2012?????????????????????????????????????

I, for one, am rolling on the floor cyring. ROFC. And what's this I hear of you frolicking around in Coco Chanel's apartment? I mean, I knew you were a big deal, BUT DAYUM. Who does that???? WHO HANGS OUT IN THE LATE CHANEL'S HEADQUARTERS ON THEIR FREE TIME??? WHERE DO I SIGN UP FOR THAT???? If this is any hint to you being featured in a  future Chanel ad campaign, you better hope this Belgium scandal doesn't ruin that for you, Badgalri.



And ENJOY YOUR ENDLESS BAGS OF FREE CHANEL WHILE WE, YOUR FANS, WAIT ON YOU FOR HOURS IN BELGIUM WEARING OUR CLOTHES FROM THE LOCAL FOREVER21 THAT WE WALKED THROUGH WIND RAIN AND SNOW TO GET AND COULD BARELY AFFORD. ENJOY YOUR QUILT-SEWN, CHAIN LINK, TWEED MASTERPIECES.

Sorry, Badgal, I was harsh, but I've regained my composure. In fact, upon further investigation, I've decided you probably didn't show up late to your own concert because you were hungover. I have hard evidence to believe you were hiding incognito in the crowd, instagramming, and typing hashtags for hours, before emerging on stage for performance.

Evidence to my argument:

#AndIThoughtMyHashTagsWereAnnoying #ImeanThatsAlotOfHashtagging

Well, Rihanna, the rest of my Sunday duties must now commence, and unfortunately, I must now bring this letter to a closing. Please send Azzedine Alaïa my warm regards. 

Yours cordially, 
BadGalFrivolity

You have now entered a #NoBasicZone

{images: here}